so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
