spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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