Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
