I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I checked into jail on foursquare
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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