and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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