mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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