I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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