I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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