Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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