hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
