Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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