I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
50% drunk capacity currently
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
