your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
