She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
