hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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