There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
