This is not my ceiling
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
