I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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