The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
