I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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