whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
even my farts smell like vagina
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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