You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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