I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
