i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
