why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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