remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
