Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
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i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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