you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
