If i come over, it means nothing
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
