I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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