it wasn't lemon gatorade
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize