Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
