Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
