i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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