this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So many bounce houses so little time
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
