When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
