you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Bring me that man meat
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
