Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
