Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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