Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You made out with two different species that night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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