If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
