some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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