At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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