Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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