i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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