You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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