Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
PANTIES FOUND
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
