I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
