Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
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It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
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I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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