I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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