Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My dick has a subreddit
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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