Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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