I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
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i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
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I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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