I hate your face
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
