some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
is wine microwaveable?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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