Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
