So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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