i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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